What to do if you fell for a romance scam
Romance scams are designed to be convincing and they are not your fault. Stopping payments now and saving evidence are the most useful first steps.
Quick answer
Romance scams are designed to be convincing and they are not your fault. Stopping payments now and saving evidence are the most useful first steps.
- Stop sending money and stop sharing personal or financial details.
- If you sent a payment, contact your bank or payment provider straight away.
- Save the profile, messages, usernames, photos, and any payment or wallet details.
- Do not delete the conversation before saving evidence.
Do this now
Contact your bank or payment provider immediately if money was sent, and the platform to report the profile.
Understanding what happened
Romance scams work slowly and emotionally, so realising what happened can be painful. The criminals are skilled at building trust over weeks or months - being deceived says nothing bad about you.
Money is usually requested through a story: a medical emergency, a stuck shipment, travel costs, or an 'investment' you can share in. Each request is designed to feel reasonable in the moment.
The steps here focus on what genuinely helps now: stopping further payments, preserving evidence, reporting, and protecting yourself from the common follow-up recovery scam.
First 5 minutes
- Stop sending money and stop sharing personal or financial details.
- If you sent a payment, contact your bank or payment provider straight away.
- Save the profile, messages, usernames, photos, and any payment or wallet details.
- Do not delete the conversation before saving evidence.
First 24 hours
- Report the profile on the dating or social platform.
- Tell a trusted friend or family member - talking it through helps.
- If you shared ID or intimate photos, note the risk of identity theft or sextortion and follow those guides.
- Report to your local cybercrime or fraud authority.
What not to do
- Do not send 'one last' payment to recover what you already sent.
- Do not pay anyone promising to trace or recover your money for a fee.
- Do not blame yourself - these scams are run by organised, practised criminals.
Evidence to save
- Profile names, usernames, and photos used
- Messages and any voice or video call records
- Payment methods, amounts, dates, and wallet or account details
How to report
Report through official channels for your area.
Find official reporting links for your country in the reporting directory.
- Do not use phone numbers or links from the suspicious message - look up the official ones yourself.
- Report quickly if money was sent or ID documents were shared; speed improves your options.
- Keep your evidence - see how to save scam evidence.
Romance victims are often targeted again by fake 'investigators' or 'recovery agents'. No one can guarantee getting your money back for an upfront fee.
Stop it happening again
Be cautious with anyone who professes strong feelings quickly but cannot meet or video call.
Never send money, crypto, or gift cards to someone you have only met online.
Reverse-image-search profile photos and talk to a friend before sending anything.
This is general educational guidance, not legal or financial advice, and it is not a guarantee. Always verify through official channels.
Frequently asked questions
I still care about them - could it be real?
If someone you met online repeatedly asks for money, avoids meeting or live video, or has an emergency that only money can fix, those are classic romance-scam signs. Pausing payments and talking to someone you trust will help you see it clearly.
Will I get my money back?
Sometimes, if you contact your bank quickly, but there is no guarantee. Be very wary of anyone who promises guaranteed recovery for a fee.